after another

so lately i've been in and out of life.
keeping myself alive and 'out' of my own life as much as possible
usually reading books, listening to music
and keeping myself moving to get away.
doing those things are really what keeps me sane,
whatever keeps me from thinking truly makes me sane

April vacation has officially started
and as much as i've anxiously awaited for this
i guess i really wasn't ready

this only means; longer times spent at home
thats all vacation time means to me

i gotta keep outta here as much as possible.
being home never really has worked for me
in terms of relationships i hope this vacation allows me to either leave the pieces on the floor
or pick them up and attempt to put them back together
all of this really isn't my decision though
its all outta my hands
and as much as i HATE waiting, i guess i will have to do so
at least in this situation i will

i really need to clear my mind.
i'm so sick of it being filled with shit that just keeps me on edge
if it isnt one thing its another
all of it is just so draining

thats why i feel the need to read and get away
no matter where i'm going i just gotta keep it moving
whether its my eyes rushing through a sentence in a book,
or a walk leading to nowhere
i have to, HAVE to keep my body busy

we'll have to see how this vacation ends up.
whatever it brings i'll be ready for it